"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will." -Romans 12:2
"I tried to forget you, but the memories got stuck and now they're on display." -Jesse Ruben, "Lack of Armor"
I've been soaking up a lot of scripture lately. Now, that doesn't sound like a remarkable expression or leap of faith. I mean, after all, I'm a youth pastor. I'm supposed to read the Bible. But I haven't been reading it. No, lately I've been basking in it.
And it. is. messing. with. me. It's not letting me sit still. It's not letting me remain the same. As I jump in, it's spitting me out differently. And I don't like it. I'd rather remain as I am. It's more comfortable that way.
You see, I'd rather spend time with the people who agree with me. I'd rather unfriend people who don't align with the way I see God or the world or politics or music (seriously, Beiber Fever or we're through). I'd rather him kick the rich, snobby, self-righteous people to the curb. I'd rather expel those who don't see injustice and hatred where it exists. But then I read Paul write that I ought to live at peace with all so long as it depends on me. But then I see Jesus not just spending time with the homeless and those with less, but he has dinner with the religious experts and the tax collectors (who were screwing the poor and disadvantaged Jewish people). Even his own disciples were disappointed with this. But Jesus knew they were family too.
You see, I'd rather cast out the people who disappoint me and hurt the people I love. I'd rather point out their flaws to feel more secure about myself. But Jesus calls us to forgive those who hurt us seventy-seven times(!!). But Jesus sees a crowd ready to stone the woman found in adultery. So he begins to draw in the sand beneath him, because he knows that wrath and anger are directed by people just as guilty. Jesus knew that judging others is rooted in our desperate attempt to deflect attention from our own pain, anger, and sin, instead of exposing our hearts.
You see, I'd rather have Jesus fix all of the political conflicts and problems in our world. I'd rather God take the throne and let justice and peace reign. But in the face of Roman occupation, God didn't expel the soldiers and rulers. God entered into the struggle as a powerless baby. And Jesus didn't overthrow Pilate, he threw himself into transforming the lives and hearts of those living under the oppression of foreign rule. Because Jesus knew power is most faithfully manifest not in dictating the terms to others, but in restraining itself for the benefit of building up those around it.
You see, there are days I'd rather pull up to a highway exit and not meet the glance of the panhandler on the corner because of the way it can make me feel. But then I read that God created all people in God's image, and I need to meet that woman's glance because I see myself reflected in it. Then I read that Jesus fought through crowds to find the blind, smelly man at the back who the crowd had avoided all day. Because Jesus knew that no one was outside the group.
You see, I'd rather be passive and believe that Jesus was the lamb and the prince of peace and all about forgiveness. I'd rather remain silent and not cause a stir. But then I read a story of Jesus turning over tables and kicking out those creditors who were taking advantage of poor folks who couldn't afford their animals for sacrifice. Then I read about Jesus yelling at Peter, "Get behind me Satan." But Jesus knew that sometimes jolts are needed on behalf of God's kingdom.
You see, I'd rather look to God and say, "Father, I'm giving enough. Look, I'm giving TEN PERCENT of my paycheck. BEFORE TAX!" And then I read a story of an interaction between Jesus and a rich young man. The young man has done everything right, so Jesus offers him one last expectation: give away everything you own. What? Why? He's done enough. But Jesus knew that if we were willing to let go of our security in our stuff, we'd finally be free to live.
You see, when I read the Bible, Jesus and God rarely do what I want them to do. They rarely meet my expectations.
So take this as a warning. Open your Bible with caution, because it may in fact wreck your life. It may spit you out different and change you. It may mess you up and shift your mind and transform relationships. It may break open a heart long turned to stone. It may trouble your schedule and your checkbook (who even uses checkbooks anymore?!).
But with that word of caution, may we dive in. May we bask, because that transformation is the good news. May we jump in, because we know the splash changes those in its radius. May we leave changed, discomforted, and unfinished. May our hearts expand beyond the limits we set for them now.
forever unfinished...
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