Bright Lights...

"Don't you know there's so much more beyond these dead signs and all these filthy streets. Take my hands, let me pull you out of the blindness of your weary soul... to somewhere beautiful." -Sean McConnell, Somewhere Beautiful

"All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." John 1:3-5

Every Sunday morning when I walk out of the church at 12:00 I have to shield my eyes. It is always SO bright! I suppose it has something to do with how dimly lit the sanctuary is, but every time I walk out into the afternoon sun, there are a good 10 seconds when I'm absolutely blinded! I've never had my eyes dilated, but I think it's like that. Every Sunday!

I've been thinking a lot about that phenomenon recently, that blinding light. It's good to leave the darkness, but what if the light is too bright? What if the light makes us uncomfortable?

How many of us settle for living in the darkness? If you work in a dark room developing film, well, this isn't for you. But then again, I suppose I'm not referring to literal darkness. How many of us complain about how busy we are? For how many of us is our standard response to the question how are you "Tired" or "Busy"? How many of us are stuck in bad relationship patterns? How many of us live in front of screens alone rather than in life with others?

I think there's a reason so many of us stick here in these decisions (and by we I mean me and you.) We all know there is something better, or at least have an inkling maybe. Or at the very least we did once upon a time. We all dream. We have an idea of what life could be like if we dared to jump off the high dive, not knowing if we'd nail a dive or crash into a belly flop.

But it's scary. Our glimpses into the light are short and so abrupt that they are like the sun when I leave the sanctuary. For so many of us, we'd rather settle into lives of mediocrity than chase down the wind. We've left whimsy behind because we don't know what we might find hunting it down. And after a while, we stop looking. The longer we drift along, the deeper the darkness gets. And the more harsh the light becomes.

I think that's what Jesus was like. There's this beautiful passage at the beginning of John's gospel where he tries to put into words who Jesus is (good luck with that!) First John calls Jesus the Word of God, the logos in Greek. This means that Jesus was a picture of what God is like.

But then he uses another image: the light. He says Jesus was the light. What's more? He writes, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." Jesus was a bright light! Maybe that's why so many people were turned off by him. The ideas Jesus had about love, about who was in and who was out, and how he just went ahead and lived into that love, that was radical. It wasn't something people were used to seeing. People like Jesus didn't eat with prostitutes and tax collectors. People like Jesus didn't touch people with skin diseases. BUT JESUS DID!

And I think that's why so many people said no. He changed things! He opened people's eyes to a light, and it was bright! It changed things, and his version of love was bigger than they could get their heads around. It forced them to think differently. It was TOO bright. So most of the people he met said no. It was easier to stay on the sideline. Jesus' way may have but better. His picture of love might have been beautiful. But it was too big. They couldn't imagine what he was doing, even if he was doing it before their very eyes. It was good, but after a while, they had settled for less.

There are enough Jesus is Superman analogies to last until the end of time, but I will add one more. I really enjoyed the Man of Steel movie. There comes a point at which Clark Kent has just been told who he is, why he has the abilities he does. And his father, his real father, tells him that he has to be a light for people:

"You will give the people of earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you. They will stumble. They will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time you will help them accomplish wonders."

Superman is a light to the world. But it will take time for people's eyes to adjust and focus. For a while they will stumble and fall and resist. That's what it's like when I leave the sanctuary. For a moment it is harsh, but slowly my eyes get better.

Radical love is a jarring event. It is a rare thing in this world, and to see it is scary, particularly when we're involved. We've gotten so used to settling into our busyness and expectations that when something comes along that disrupts that, even if that thing is great, we are usually too blinded to see it. There is so much stuff in our way that we'd rather keep on living a dull story than risk something that could be incredible (and yes, I again mean myself as much as anyone.)

So sometimes we have to do something that jars us, something that brings us to life and opens our eyes to the way things could be! We don't have to settle for less just because we always have. Because the truth is, just as John says that Jesus is the light, Jesus tells his disciples that they are the light! To follow Jesus is to share in the light, to know the light and to live the kind of life that shares that light with the world. It is to expose ourselves to a love we can't comprehend or understand because it's more than we've ever conceived of.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself with a great excuse to remember the light. For a while, I've felt overwhelmed. Busy. Tired. Stressed. Apathetic. I was filling my time with stuff to feel busier and what I wasn't doing was LIVING! I was settling for something much less than a life of light. I was living for... blah.

But a friend of mine had a big presentation for a class in their grad program. And something sparked. I don't know what it was, but I caught a glimpse of light. I caught a glimpse of something that would bring me to life. So instead of a simple "Good luck" text, I did something different...

And let me tell you, it woke me up! Sure, it literally woke me up early, but more than that, it reminded me to jump into life with both feet. It gave me a reason to laugh and reminded me that life is crazy and unexpected and full of potential. I'd gotten so caught up by life that I'd forgotten to live!

Sometimes we need little moments to wake us up. If you ever feel like you can't see the light, or that life has gotten too busy, or better yet that better isn't for you, know that better is just for you! It's hard to imagine better sometimes. We've gotten so used to enough and getting by and less than life has to offer us that to imagine better is foreign. We've gotten so used to being let down that the idea of love to the fullest is scary sometimes. Light has become blinding.

But there is better. And the light that is blinding at first slowly becomes natural. And what's more? When we open ourselves to it, when we catch a glimpse of it, even if just for a second, it lights us up. And we become the very light to the world that has already illuminated us. You are the light. There is light in you.

I think it's like the writer of Winnie the Pooh said, "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think." May the light of Jesus touch your life today, and may your life be filled with light and love and passion and possibility and whimsy today!

forever unfinished...

Kumbie...

"Basic principles... there are none." -Hitch

"I remember this feeling came over me that I'd rather be here with her in this moment than anywhere else in the universe." -Rob Bell, Nooma: Flame

"So God created humankind in his image,
     in the image of God he created them;
     male and female he created them." -Genesis 1:27

I have a friend named Kumbirai Madondo, or Kumbie for short. Kumbie is from Zimbabwe, and she and I worked at a summer camp together while I was at Furman. I even taught Kumbie to drive before she got her American driver's license. I was "Mr. Leathers." She was "The World's Greatest."

When the summer came to an end, it was clear that Kumbie and I needed to get each other a going away present. I'm not entirely sure what she received (I think it was some kind of potpourri or a scent of some kind. I received something very different.

All summer one of my responsibilities was to drive Kumbie around in an effort to raise funds for the camp. While we drove around the area surrounding Clemson, she often let me know who she thought I ought to end up with. She was very invested in finding me the future Mrs. Leathers. So for her goodbye present she gave me two pieces of African jewelry: a bracelet and a necklace. They came with very specific instructions: when I met that future Mrs. Leathers I was to give her the jewelry and find Kumbie so that she could approve.

Two nights ago I was going through my nightstand and found all those items Kumbie gave me five years ago. It got me thinking...

There's a lot of talk these days about dating, and there's a lot of that talk in the church. How are we supposed to do it and what's it supposed to look like? What's ok and who is it ok with? There are all of these ideas about what it means to date. So I thought I'd share some thoughts I've picked up over the past 25 years:

1.      You do not need someone else to complete you or make you happy. If you are single, it is not because you are in a season of preparation for marriage, as if the story of your life was arcing towards finding your husband or wife. Finding someone won't make you whole. When God made you you weren't incomplete. You don't need someone else to make you whole. So be content with where you are. If you are single, enjoy the freedom that comes with that. If you are dating someone, enjoy being with them. If you are married, congratulations and love them big!
2.      Girls (and guys too), don't ever let anyone convince you you aren't good enough to be with them. If you find yourself with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself because of who you are or what you've done then they are not worth another second of you time. You are good enough for anybody, and you are worthy of love just as much as every other person. You were good enough the moment you were born! That's what love does, it brings people to their very best. It draws the light out of us so that everyone can see it.
3.      One thing the world could use less of is arrogant nice guys. I'm tired of hearing people say nice guys finish last. You know who says that? Nice guys who think that for some reason being a nice guys entitles them to whichever girl they meet. Why are people nice guys? Because every single woman they meet is worthy of the deepest love and respect from every guy. It's not about you.
4.      My Aunt Cathy once gave me the truest dating advice I've ever been given. She asked me, "Does she make you better? Do you make her better? If the answer to either is no, then you both deserve better." It's beautiful. But that's what love is right? At it's core, shouldn't love be something that both blesses others and receives blessings? If you're giving all of the love, there's something out of balance. If you're receiving all of it, there's something out of balance.
5.      Laughter is a good thing. So is communicating.
6.     There's no handbook for how dating is supposed to look. Everybody is a different person. Everyone's unique, and what an awesome thing that is! So why would any relationship look the same as any other? It won't! There's no strict guideline for how dating works. Some people move faster. Others slower. Some people love gifts. Some people love laughter. There aren't any hard and fast rules. If your relationship is marked by love and respect, then there shouldn't ever be anyone feeling pressured or nervous.
7.      Love is hard. I'm not talking about romance. That's pretty easy. But that's not love. We've romanticized love, made it a cute cuddly thing in The Notebook and Beauty and the Beast (p.s. I love those movies!) There's nothing wrong with romance. In fact, it's great, and romantic love can't happen without it. But love is different. Love sacrifices. With love, the story is never about me, but always about someone else. Love is never going to be perfect between two people. You'll argue and fight. But don't give up because it's bumpy.
        And if someone tells you they love you and only loves what you will do for him or her, or only loves you when it's convenient, or only loves you when there's not someone else, that's not love. When someone makes you feel bad about who you are, that's not love. And if you're the person on the other side, and you're taking advantage of someone, or making them feel like less then they were made to be by the God who knit them together, all while saying "I love you," you don't know what those words mean. Love, true love, is worth waiting for.

I haven't found that future Mrs. Leathers that Kumbie is waiting for. I hope I do one day. That'd be great! I can't wait. Relationships give us a glimpse of what it's like when God loves us. It's this beautiful picture and I'd love to be a part of it one day.

But my life isn't incomplete without her. When God made me, he made me with everything I'd ever need. Same with you. Love is beautiful. But love doesn't just live in romance. We were made to live in community, to live in relationships. And we do. And love flows out of that. So no matter where you find yourself on the relationship spectrum, know that it is enough, and that love is a beautiful thing worth holding onto if you've found it.

forever unfinished...