"All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." John 1:3-5
Every Sunday morning when I walk out of the church at 12:00 I have to shield my eyes. It is always SO bright! I suppose it has something to do with how dimly lit the sanctuary is, but every time I walk out into the afternoon sun, there are a good 10 seconds when I'm absolutely blinded! I've never had my eyes dilated, but I think it's like that. Every Sunday!
I've been thinking a lot about that phenomenon recently, that blinding light. It's good to leave the darkness, but what if the light is too bright? What if the light makes us uncomfortable?
How many of us settle for living in the darkness? If you work in a dark room developing film, well, this isn't for you. But then again, I suppose I'm not referring to literal darkness. How many of us complain about how busy we are? For how many of us is our standard response to the question how are you "Tired" or "Busy"? How many of us are stuck in bad relationship patterns? How many of us live in front of screens alone rather than in life with others?
I think there's a reason so many of us stick here in these decisions (and by we I mean me and you.) We all know there is something better, or at least have an inkling maybe. Or at the very least we did once upon a time. We all dream. We have an idea of what life could be like if we dared to jump off the high dive, not knowing if we'd nail a dive or crash into a belly flop.
But it's scary. Our glimpses into the light are short and so abrupt that they are like the sun when I leave the sanctuary. For so many of us, we'd rather settle into lives of mediocrity than chase down the wind. We've left whimsy behind because we don't know what we might find hunting it down. And after a while, we stop looking. The longer we drift along, the deeper the darkness gets. And the more harsh the light becomes.
I think that's what Jesus was like. There's this beautiful passage at the beginning of John's gospel where he tries to put into words who Jesus is (good luck with that!) First John calls Jesus the Word of God, the logos in Greek. This means that Jesus was a picture of what God is like.
But then he uses another image: the light. He says Jesus was the light. What's more? He writes, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." Jesus was a bright light! Maybe that's why so many people were turned off by him. The ideas Jesus had about love, about who was in and who was out, and how he just went ahead and lived into that love, that was radical. It wasn't something people were used to seeing. People like Jesus didn't eat with prostitutes and tax collectors. People like Jesus didn't touch people with skin diseases. BUT JESUS DID!
And I think that's why so many people said no. He changed things! He opened people's eyes to a light, and it was bright! It changed things, and his version of love was bigger than they could get their heads around. It forced them to think differently. It was TOO bright. So most of the people he met said no. It was easier to stay on the sideline. Jesus' way may have but better. His picture of love might have been beautiful. But it was too big. They couldn't imagine what he was doing, even if he was doing it before their very eyes. It was good, but after a while, they had settled for less.
There are enough Jesus is Superman analogies to last until the end of time, but I will add one more. I really enjoyed the Man of Steel movie. There comes a point at which Clark Kent has just been told who he is, why he has the abilities he does. And his father, his real father, tells him that he has to be a light for people:
"You will give the people of earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you. They will stumble. They will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time you will help them accomplish wonders."
Superman is a light to the world. But it will take time for people's eyes to adjust and focus. For a while they will stumble and fall and resist. That's what it's like when I leave the sanctuary. For a moment it is harsh, but slowly my eyes get better.
Radical love is a jarring event. It is a rare thing in this world, and to see it is scary, particularly when we're involved. We've gotten so used to settling into our busyness and expectations that when something comes along that disrupts that, even if that thing is great, we are usually too blinded to see it. There is so much stuff in our way that we'd rather keep on living a dull story than risk something that could be incredible (and yes, I again mean myself as much as anyone.)
So sometimes we have to do something that jars us, something that brings us to life and opens our eyes to the way things could be! We don't have to settle for less just because we always have. Because the truth is, just as John says that Jesus is the light, Jesus tells his disciples that they are the light! To follow Jesus is to share in the light, to know the light and to live the kind of life that shares that light with the world. It is to expose ourselves to a love we can't comprehend or understand because it's more than we've ever conceived of.
A couple of weeks ago I found myself with a great excuse to remember the light. For a while, I've felt overwhelmed. Busy. Tired. Stressed. Apathetic. I was filling my time with stuff to feel busier and what I wasn't doing was LIVING! I was settling for something much less than a life of light. I was living for... blah.
But a friend of mine had a big presentation for a class in their grad program. And something sparked. I don't know what it was, but I caught a glimpse of light. I caught a glimpse of something that would bring me to life. So instead of a simple "Good luck" text, I did something different...
And let me tell you, it woke me up! Sure, it literally woke me up early, but more than that, it reminded me to jump into life with both feet. It gave me a reason to laugh and reminded me that life is crazy and unexpected and full of potential. I'd gotten so caught up by life that I'd forgotten to live!
Sometimes we need little moments to wake us up. If you ever feel like you can't see the light, or that life has gotten too busy, or better yet that better isn't for you, know that better is just for you! It's hard to imagine better sometimes. We've gotten so used to enough and getting by and less than life has to offer us that to imagine better is foreign. We've gotten so used to being let down that the idea of love to the fullest is scary sometimes. Light has become blinding.
But there is better. And the light that is blinding at first slowly becomes natural. And what's more? When we open ourselves to it, when we catch a glimpse of it, even if just for a second, it lights us up. And we become the very light to the world that has already illuminated us. You are the light. There is light in you.
I think it's like the writer of Winnie the Pooh said, "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think." May the light of Jesus touch your life today, and may your life be filled with light and love and passion and possibility and whimsy today!
forever unfinished...
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