Online Dating...

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'" -1 Samuel 16:7

"They say blood is thicker than oceans, still we box our brothers in. I find hope and it gives me rest. I find hope in a beating chest. I find hope in what eyes don't see. I find hope in your hate for me. Have no fear when the waters rise. We can conquer this great divide." -Great Divide, Hanson

In the past 10 years, 1/3 of all of the couples getting married met online. A THIRD! The world is certainly changing.

About a year ago, I decided to jump into the pool and try this thing out. So I filled out a couple of profiles on a few different sites. I filled out some simple information about myself: my name, height, favorite foods, dreams, job, etc.

Every morning I'd get e-mails from these services with the profiles of a few potential matches. And I'd get the same information that I'd put into mine. And from that information, I'd end up trying to construct an idea of what these girls were like. What are their dreams? What wakes them up in the morning? What are they passionate about? Are they fun to talk to? I was trying to deduce all of this from some simple demographic information on an online profile. I was trying to deduce who they were and what they were about from a few facts.

But one time, for no reason whatsoever, I decided to ask one of these girls on a date. And she said yes! So we went and got dinner and ice cream. And a crazy thing happened. She was NOTHING like the girl I expected to meet. She was nothing like the girl I had imagined in my head based on her profile.

I gave up pretty quick on the online dating thing, but I did learn a valuable lesson.

People are complex and complicated. We're not just one thing or another thing. We all have labels. We're men or we're women. We're college graduates and dropouts. We're black or white or Latino/a. We're young or we're old. Some of us vote Republican. Others vote Democrat. And yet we're so much more than these labels.

We have so many labels to define us. And what often happens is that we surround ourselves with people who fit our labels and fall into the same circles we fit into. And unfortunately, we usually set boundaries around ourselves to push away people who aren't like us and don't look like us and don't love the same people we do.

We expect people to be one way based on one or two pieces of information about them.

In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel is sent to Bethlehem to find the next king of Israel after it becomes clear that Saul isn't going to cut it. So Samuel goes, and he finds Jesse and says, "Bring out your sons, because one of them is going to be the next king."

So Jesse grabs his first son, Eliab, and brings him before Samuel. And Eliab looked the part. He was strong and strapping and brave and tall. You know, the things kings are made of.

And just as Samuel is preparing to anoint him with oil as the next king, God whispers in Samuel's ear, "Not so fast! You're looking at all the wrong things," God says. "Yes, I know he looks good and looks like a king. But I'm not looking for someone who looks the part. I'm looking for someone with the right heart."

Samuel was looking for all the wrong things. So Jesse brings out his other 6 sons, and they all look good, but Samuel keeps saying, "Not quite it." And when all of the sons have passed, Samuel asks Jesse, "Aren't there anymore?" (As if 7 sons isn't enough?!?!)

"Well," Jesse replies, "there is one more, but he's not the one you want. He's my youngest, and he's out with the sheep watching the flock."

Jesse thought so little of David that he left him in the field! He was sure one of his older sons would be what Samuel was looking for. But God was looking for something else. And when David arrived, Samuel saw his future king and anointed him with oil.

David didn't look the part, but he was exactly the kind of person God was looking for.

A couple hundred years and a few pages in the Bible later, we come to a story of three wise men traveling to Bethlehem looking for a newborn king. (Sound familiar?) And just like Samuel, they must have been shocked at what they found.

They must have been looking for a palace and a strong family. After all, the Israelites were under Roman rule, so any new king needed to be a strong boy who could fight off the Romans and restore Israel to its rightful place.

And yet, what they found was a boy born in a feeding trough for sheep because there was no room left for him in the inn. And not only that, this baby was born to a mother who wasn't married and his birth certainly wasn't celebrated.

Jesus wasn't what people were looking for. Israel thought they needed someone to set them free, and Jesus didn't fit the bill. And yet what the kingdom God had in mind for God's people looked a lot different than the people thought they needed it to look. God had something bigger in mind, just like with David.

When we make the leap to start following God's call, it's very possible that God may lead us to places we never thought we'd go, just like Bethlehem. And when we get there, it's very possible that God may have things for us to do we never would've expected. And when we get to those places to do those things, it's very likely God will put people in our path that are not the kind of people we'd surround ourselves with.

But that's the call of discipleship. Because while we try to surround ourselves with the right kind of people, the kind of people who look and think like we do, God seems to keep drawing the circle bigger to remind us to see God's image in every person, even the people who are hardest for us to love.

We have expectations of people the moment we see them. We see the labels and the categories they fit into and make assumptions. He must be like this because he is from the North. She must act like this because she voted for a Republican. They must be boring because they're old. They must be rebellious because they're young.

But like Samuel and the wise men discovered, when we let God put people in our paths that don't fit any of our expectations, God has a way of inviting us into the most beautiful stories!

So may we begin to recognize the imago dei in our neighbors, all of our neighbors. May we go out of our way to include people who don't fit our labels and our circles. May we remember that we are not defined by one or two facts or labels or moments in our past. And may we go out looking for the places and the people that God is calling us to every single day.

forever unfinished...