"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
"What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears?... What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?" -Laura Story
I hope you tear your ACL. There it is. The cat is out of the bag. I hope you tear your ACL.
Ok, maybe I don't mean that exactly how it came out I suppose. But then again, I kind of do. I'd love to share a story. In the middle of the summer before my junior year at Furman, I tore my ACL in my left knee playing Capture the Flag at Clemson. CAPTURE THE FLAG?! Yeah, the game you played in elementary school out on the blacktop. And here I was 20 years old and tearing ligaments in my knee. It wasn't until the end of the summer that I actually learned I'd torn something, so surgery got put off until December (a whole 5 months away.)
I was bitter! I was REALLY angry! I was the captain of the ultimate frisbee team and an RA for a freshman hall that was playing intramurals, but I was stuck on the sideline watching. I couldn't do ANYTHING but sit and watch from afar! I felt cheated, like I had lost a whole year of school fun because one of my legs was disfunctional and half the size of the other. I felt like a year was being stolen from me.
And then something amazing happened about a month before surgery. Peace filled all the bitterness. Patience replaced the yearning. Trust took the place of the anger. There wasn't a moment when this all came to be. But I distinctly remember that month before surgery knowing that I was SUPPOSED to tear my knee up. It was as if I had a glimpse into the awesome blessing I was receiving. I was able to understand that nothing was being taken from me, but that this was another way God was molding me into the man He was making me to be.
I learned patience in ways I never could have without the injury. I learned to encourage others from afar, not always having to take the lead. But most importantly, I learned to be still and just stop...
Jesus doesn't promise life is easy when we follow him. That's a little, misunderstood idea. In fact, he even says that there will be pain, suffering. But he didn't stop there. That's a bit hopeless. No, instead he goes on to say not to fret, because in the end, he has overcome all of it. All throughout the bible one thing becomes unbelievably clear, God is God, and I am not! God created time. He created this earth and everything on it. He created me and has a perfect plan in store for me!
His Word constantly reminds that there are just things we are not meant to understand. Like in Job, when Job wants to understand why God would allow of his suffering. God replies, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?" Or in Isaiah, when God says through the prophet, "Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand?" There are things we are just not meant to understand. It reminds me of an analogy Donald Miller makes in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.
He compares our lives to a tree in the middle of the forest. Without that tree, the beauty of the forest would be a little bit diminished. It wouldn't look the same and would lose something unique. But in the end, the story is not about the tree. It's a story about the forest.
I get caught up in what I want way too often. That's what tearing my ACL taught me. It taught me that everything (the good, the bad, and the downright heartbreaking) all points back to the God who created me and created the universe. It reminded me that even when things don't go the way I want or the way I think they should, it doesn't mean that they are wrong. It means God has something infinitely more beautiful in store. And in the midst of life's disappointments, He's always teaching.
So today I hope you go out and tear your ACL. Or if not that, at least I hope you find a moment that makes you stop, take a deep breath and remember that God is behind all of it, and what a beautiful thing that is...
forever unfinished...
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